Her Happiness

We tried to have a baby for a very long time. About 7 years. There was nothing wrong we were told, just hadn't happened, It has a term: Unexplained Infertility. I can tell you that it is a crappy diagnosis. VERY. No reason, you just can't have it.

And in all that time, I cried only on Mother's Day. Locked myself in the bathroom and cried feeling sorry for myself. Really, that was all it was: Self pity. I wanted it and I couldn't have it.

But in all that time, I never bought a home pregnancy test, I only charted for a little while, I just lived every cycle like I hoped I was pregnant. It was long and it was lonely. I told no one. I shared nothing. I just hoped and prayed and offered my soul. But I was denied. Even my soul wasn't enough to buy Glenn and I a child.

And I never got jealous. I hear these women talk about having babies and how hard it is for them. I get that. Been there, have the badge. But when they say:' I can't believe that <insert name of newly pregnant woman here> is pregnant! I can't be around pregnant women, or babies.' THAT, I don't get. How can you, who has struggled to get pregnant, begrudge someone else their pregnancy? Sorry, I just don't get it. I KNOW they feel empty, and they feel useless. I KNOW they feel despair and sometimes anger. But to not be able to set that aside and be genuinely happy that someone ELSE doesn't have to feel all those miserable things? But maybe she did. Maybe it was her 6th pregnancy and first one to carry to term, or maybe she was violated and the baby was forced onto her. You never know. If I could tell them ONE thing without being attacked for not understanding it would be: Some day it will be you, and some other woman who has tried for too long will look at you and be jealous. And YOU will not pay attention to it, you will be so thrilled it is your turn that HER misery will not be apparent. Do not look at other women with jealousy, this will eat at you and you will not want to go out, or visit your new nephew, look at them with hope. Look at me with hope. I have NO idea why I have two children now. Really, no reason, except sex at the right time, in the right position. And it may never happen again. But I will not be so self-absorbed as to look at another pregnant woman with disdain because she has what I want. I will be happy for her. I will be happy to see that infant and I will feel like I am complete.

How can any woman deny her happiness?

Maybe it's me

I wonder: Am I the only one that thinks it's obscene to read about a pack of teenagers beating a man to death with another 'news' story about how a young TV star has no problem taking off her clothes and showing the world her goodies whether we want to see them or not?

Where is the reality?

Wondering about the Top Story? Go ahead...guess.

Verne Troyer Sex tape. That's right. Excuse me, that TMZ DROPPED the sex tape. WTH? That this man has a sex tape is more important than ANYTHING else happening in the world that CNN decides is news. Watching someone else have sex is the foundation of society, evidently.

Oh and Number 2? Uma Thurman is engaged. Well, good for her. Will I get an invite? Because, really, that's the only way I might actually think this tidbit is important to me in any way. Or, if she picked my company to make the flowers. Aside from tha: have a nice life Uma. Hope you are very happy, congrats. Everyone wants to be happy. But, you know, some people are being beaten to death. Harsh? OK, I'll buy that was harsh and not directed at Miss Thurman in any way. But wasn't it true?

So I think; I vow not to NOT click on a story where I recognize any of the names.

Unless, someone sends me a link and wants to discuss it.

And I also vow to continue to be appalled by the lack of humanity in the new human experience. That I will always rant about teenagers with no guidance. Can't tell you why they abuse people, I don't know them. I can make blanket assumptions such as: Parents aren't there,or fell in with the wrong crowd and look for blame in some other place instead of where it lies: With the teenagers. I mean, really, did you NOT know that it was wrong to attack someone for their music player when you were 14? Could anyone have convinced you to strike another human being until they died? Because these kids did. They looked around and saw something they wanted, and, on impulse, or planned (doesn't matter the outcome was the same), they took it. And we, gave them exposure and attention. What we SHOULD be doing is crying out for their punishment! For the accountability that we, as a society, do not force upon our young people. THEY are the ones who chose this path, NO ONE forced this behavior and the majority of us want to see Verne Troyer's willie. How did this happen?

Taylor's FIRST Haircut

Yes, she is 3 and we just got around to her first haircut. Don't judge me.

Getting the bangs thangs!

She was born with a full head of dark hair and it just grew out and lightened up to the beautiful strawberry blonde she has now. She loves her hair. She likes for me to put ribbons and bows in it and sometimes, they even match her outfit. She has been bugging us to cut her hair for a while now and we finally gave in. Well, not so much gave in as recognized the necessity of it. So we took her to WalMart, of all places, and she sat VERY still while her hair was cut. Bangs and evened out the back. That was it. She wanted to keep it long, we wanted it out of her eyes. :) It was a compromise.

Well...it's ruined.

It's official. I meant to bitch about it two days ago when it became official, but I was just too damn upset. They done went and ruined my fantasy. The bastards. Top Gear IS coming to America. I should be happy right? I should be excited to see them test more American cars that I can go down and bribe someone to test drive...but nope. I ain't. And for good reason.

Adam Carolla.

Now, I think the man is funny sometimes. But all I can see is women on trampolines. Chugging beer, 'Hi do you have Prince Albert in a can?', and stupid, macho stunts. Wait. Top Gear is pretty much all stupid stunts...with fast cars. But no bouncing boobies. I wonder how many half-naked women will be on the show? It's a show about CARS not hooters. I dread watching this with his moronic humor. But I will watch it just to critique it.

Now, they do have two other men (Tanner Foust and Eric Stromer) that will be presenting but, really? Who cares? Adam will most likely ruin it and it won't matter how good everyone else is.

Jay Leno turned it down because he just didn't think anyone could do justice to the original. I disagree. We, Americans, have a rich and colorful (sometimes ridiculous - eh hem the Gremlin) automotive history. Not to mention the whoring done by manufacturers on both sides of the pond. So, it has potential. Especially in L.A. They could have some seriously great celebrity laps, but Adam will ruin it. He will bring his juvenile buddies on the show and they will do videos about their inside jokes, and let's face it.: Not EVERYONE should have their 15 minutes. It will be ripe with potty humor and feel like three guys sitting in a burned out garage in Iowa. No edginess, no stunning videography, no sharp jabs at political icons, just Coors and a short-blocked 350 Chevy in the background. And I just BET that there will be a calendar on the wall...a calendar with scantily clad collagen-kissed bimbos on a Camaro / Corvette. Oh and the lighting will suck.  

Please, let me be wrong. Please oh please let me be wrong. But...I bet I'm not. Sniff.

Bob's Big Boy - Burbank Landmark

 

Bob's Big Boy exterior

Forget all the celebrities that have passed through the doors of this, most famous, of Burbank's landmarks. Forget the movies that have been shot on location. Forget that the food really is unremarkable, no offense intended, but they don't serve a killer bolognaise. I mean my Chicken Fried Steak was yummy but forget that too. Last night was all about Bug.

We went to the Computer Fair, looked at RVs (yea, we may have toddlers but we ARE still getting old) and then we decided food would be good. Debbie suggested Bob's and I jumped! Love the atmosphere of the place and I love to hear Debbie talk about all the people she has worked with, and has known in her tenure at Disney, that have graced its booths. I did not expect what we received.

Bug ate well. He carried in a bag of Dorito's, don't judge me, and I had little hope for the dinner. But we tried and he ate. He ate a lot. He had salad, and some bread, he had fish and some spaghetti. When he was done, he got bored. Very bored and wanted OUT of the highchair. Out in the worst way and he beseeched all who walked within his grasps to assist him in his escape. He reached out, time and again, and snagged, time and again, waitress after waitress, after bus boy. And, as if Marisol, our waitress, wasn't wonderful enough to him, hugging him and holding his hand, every one of the personeel stopped and talked to him. EVERYONE! This, had never happened before in California. Of course, most of the staff are actors or actress in training and NOT from California so I shouldn't have been shocked but still...there I was...almost in tears I was so thrilled!

They all asked him questions and when I explained he didn't talk, they said, to the person, oh that's OK *we* can talk to *him*. And they hugged him as he tugged on them to release the harness. They gave him a balloon and one for Taylor. They gave him ice cream, and one for Taylor. These things bought us some time to finish, it was heaven. And when we finally relented, and let Courtney take him from the chair, he tried to run away. But she was too quick. She had a grip on him like any linebacker on a Quarterback I have ever seen. He couldn't shake her. It was beautiful.

The girls walked out with us and gave us their phone number. They were so taken with the kids they offered to babysit. So much for New Yorkers being rude, huh? They were the sweetest girls, maybe a tad naive, but still it was appreciated. I told Glenn in the car, that I will only eat at Bob's. The 25 miles trip is more than worth it! Of course that's not entirely true. Not entirely but pretty close. Thank you wonderful Bob's Big Boy's employees! You made my year!