It's official. I meant to bitch about it two days ago when it became official, but I was just too damn upset. They done went and ruined my fantasy. The bastards. Top Gear IS coming to America. I should be happy right? I should be excited to see them test more American cars that I can go down and bribe someone to test drive...but nope. I ain't. And for good reason.
Adam Carolla.
Now, I think the man is funny sometimes. But all I can see is women on trampolines. Chugging beer, 'Hi do you have Prince Albert in a can?', and stupid, macho stunts. Wait. Top Gear is pretty much all stupid stunts...with fast cars. But no bouncing boobies. I wonder how many half-naked women will be on the show? It's a show about CARS not hooters. I dread watching this with his moronic humor. But I will watch it just to critique it.
Now, they do have two other men (Tanner Foust and Eric Stromer) that will be presenting but, really? Who cares? Adam will most likely ruin it and it won't matter how good everyone else is.
Jay Leno turned it down because he just didn't think anyone could do justice to the original. I disagree. We, Americans, have a rich and colorful (sometimes ridiculous - eh hem the Gremlin) automotive history. Not to mention the whoring done by manufacturers on both sides of the pond. So, it has potential. Especially in L.A. They could have some seriously great celebrity laps, but Adam will ruin it. He will bring his juvenile buddies on the show and they will do videos about their inside jokes, and let's face it.: Not EVERYONE should have their 15 minutes. It will be ripe with potty humor and feel like three guys sitting in a burned out garage in Iowa. No edginess, no stunning videography, no sharp jabs at political icons, just Coors and a short-blocked 350 Chevy in the background. And I just BET that there will be a calendar on the wall...a calendar with scantily clad collagen-kissed bimbos on a Camaro / Corvette. Oh and the lighting will suck.
Please, let me be wrong. Please oh please let me be wrong. But...I bet I'm not. Sniff.
Ha! And you are a better man for it. Juvenile potty and penis jokes hold little humor to an adult woman (and I am a tad on the nasty side but please...), they are just insulting. Maybe if I hadn't been the lowest paid member of a tech team *because* I have boobs I wouldn't be as jaded about the 'Juggies'.
ReplyDeleteBut not YOUR garage in Iowa...YOUR garage would be awesome! :)
Well, you know that if it had been my company, you would have been the highest paid member of the tech team *because* you have boobs! ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd I do have *great* knockers :). Thanks. I feel better. No wait...hey!
ReplyDeleteYou know I mean it in the most respectful way possible... Wait, no I don't! =)
ReplyDeleteNett, I really do not have to watch that show to remind me of my anatomy. How are you darling.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Bill, I am doing well! Thanks for asking. Life is always good when you look close enough :). How are you Grandpa?
ReplyDeleteLet us know what the yankee version is like would you.
ReplyDeleteI am always trepidatious when a British icon is changed for the American audience.
Incidentally did the Office work for you lot?
I hated the Brit version but 99% ie everyone else, loved it.
It made my teeth ache.