Saturday, November 8, 2008

Is it me?

I haven't felt like posting.

I am a happy person. I have a lot to be happy about. Life is good. Well, except the Boy is still having almost nightly seizures, but at least we have another appointment to see yet another Doctor and I will run this one into the ground before I let him out of all the tests I want. BUT...

I haven't felt like talking. Odd for me.

I look back on the past few months and they have been very painful. I have been betrayed a few times by people I thought I should be able to trust and it has taken its toll. Didn't realize it until today. I can't look as many strangers in the eye, I don't feel like making friends. Most seem to take what they want and leave. Or I become the butt of the joke. It hurts and I am very tired of being talked about. My life is helping people. I make them smile, I give them hope, I validate them and I ask for nothing but friendship in return and I get my whole life made into a sport. I opened my heart, I gave my time and then they talk about how selfish and inconsiderate I am because I don't call (Not you Nando...never you!). I validate their emotions and they make fun of mine. And Glenn, he has been born the brunt of some of it. Poor, sweet man. Just straight and stupid jealousy caused his pain. And I just don't have the energy to be charming at the moment, outside of my own family and a few very select friends. Again, I am rambling but I need to speak it. And so I have. No pity. I am done.



3 comments:

  1. I'm glad you're finally confronting the betrayals you've felt over the past few months. I hope Bug's doctor's appt. goes well... and I'd call you since I am not one to keep track of I called u so you must call me... but I'm not sure of your number since u moved! 

    ReplyDelete
  2. Net there is one thing that I do not share with everything basically because of how people thing of you when they find out. I have a history of seizures. The past several years have been free, thankfully due to my new doctor. Keep hope, he will get better. As for the friends thing, keep an open mind and do not close your heart, you are to good a person for this society to do without.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I swear the two of you always bring me back :). Thanks!

    ReplyDelete

Google - Not a medical pancea.

  “You should write this, “ Patty said to me, “You need to share this story of triumph using Google.” I wish I hadn’t said yes. Dr. Google A...