Well...it's ruined.

It's official. I meant to bitch about it two days ago when it became official, but I was just too damn upset. They done went and ruined my fantasy. The bastards. Top Gear IS coming to America. I should be happy right? I should be excited to see them test more American cars that I can go down and bribe someone to test drive...but nope. I ain't. And for good reason.

Adam Carolla.

Now, I think the man is funny sometimes. But all I can see is women on trampolines. Chugging beer, 'Hi do you have Prince Albert in a can?', and stupid, macho stunts. Wait. Top Gear is pretty much all stupid stunts...with fast cars. But no bouncing boobies. I wonder how many half-naked women will be on the show? It's a show about CARS not hooters. I dread watching this with his moronic humor. But I will watch it just to critique it.

Now, they do have two other men (Tanner Foust and Eric Stromer) that will be presenting but, really? Who cares? Adam will most likely ruin it and it won't matter how good everyone else is.

Jay Leno turned it down because he just didn't think anyone could do justice to the original. I disagree. We, Americans, have a rich and colorful (sometimes ridiculous - eh hem the Gremlin) automotive history. Not to mention the whoring done by manufacturers on both sides of the pond. So, it has potential. Especially in L.A. They could have some seriously great celebrity laps, but Adam will ruin it. He will bring his juvenile buddies on the show and they will do videos about their inside jokes, and let's face it.: Not EVERYONE should have their 15 minutes. It will be ripe with potty humor and feel like three guys sitting in a burned out garage in Iowa. No edginess, no stunning videography, no sharp jabs at political icons, just Coors and a short-blocked 350 Chevy in the background. And I just BET that there will be a calendar on the wall...a calendar with scantily clad collagen-kissed bimbos on a Camaro / Corvette. Oh and the lighting will suck.  

Please, let me be wrong. Please oh please let me be wrong. But...I bet I'm not. Sniff.

Bob's Big Boy - Burbank Landmark

 

Bob's Big Boy exterior

Forget all the celebrities that have passed through the doors of this, most famous, of Burbank's landmarks. Forget the movies that have been shot on location. Forget that the food really is unremarkable, no offense intended, but they don't serve a killer bolognaise. I mean my Chicken Fried Steak was yummy but forget that too. Last night was all about Bug.

We went to the Computer Fair, looked at RVs (yea, we may have toddlers but we ARE still getting old) and then we decided food would be good. Debbie suggested Bob's and I jumped! Love the atmosphere of the place and I love to hear Debbie talk about all the people she has worked with, and has known in her tenure at Disney, that have graced its booths. I did not expect what we received.

Bug ate well. He carried in a bag of Dorito's, don't judge me, and I had little hope for the dinner. But we tried and he ate. He ate a lot. He had salad, and some bread, he had fish and some spaghetti. When he was done, he got bored. Very bored and wanted OUT of the highchair. Out in the worst way and he beseeched all who walked within his grasps to assist him in his escape. He reached out, time and again, and snagged, time and again, waitress after waitress, after bus boy. And, as if Marisol, our waitress, wasn't wonderful enough to him, hugging him and holding his hand, every one of the personeel stopped and talked to him. EVERYONE! This, had never happened before in California. Of course, most of the staff are actors or actress in training and NOT from California so I shouldn't have been shocked but still...there I was...almost in tears I was so thrilled!

They all asked him questions and when I explained he didn't talk, they said, to the person, oh that's OK *we* can talk to *him*. And they hugged him as he tugged on them to release the harness. They gave him a balloon and one for Taylor. They gave him ice cream, and one for Taylor. These things bought us some time to finish, it was heaven. And when we finally relented, and let Courtney take him from the chair, he tried to run away. But she was too quick. She had a grip on him like any linebacker on a Quarterback I have ever seen. He couldn't shake her. It was beautiful.

The girls walked out with us and gave us their phone number. They were so taken with the kids they offered to babysit. So much for New Yorkers being rude, huh? They were the sweetest girls, maybe a tad naive, but still it was appreciated. I told Glenn in the car, that I will only eat at Bob's. The 25 miles trip is more than worth it! Of course that's not entirely true. Not entirely but pretty close. Thank you wonderful Bob's Big Boy's employees! You made my year!

I forgot...

The classic Tay-ism on the pier.

While we were walking back, she asked if we could go to the beach again. I explained that the sun was down and we couldn't see very well, so...no.

Evidently, this was not good enough.

Nope, I want to go to da Beach.

I say: How about a vote? And remember Daddy breaks the tie vote. Raise your hand if you want to go to the beach.

Taylor raised her hand.

Raise your hand if you want to get in the car, go home and have ice cream. Glenn and I raise our hands.

I say: So there we go. Going home.

She says: But I have two hands! Vote again.

The 14th Anniversary

14. Years. 14 years. Glenn still thinks it's only the culmination of 13 and not a full 14. I say this every year: 0 - 1 is one, one complete year, you are just trying to get a pass on (insert whatever year is next). But ya, another year bites the dust.

And we had fun. We usually do. We took the kiddos to the beach because, well, we all might as well enjoy it and we don't have a babysitter.

We left a little on the late side, it's an hour and half drive to the beach we prefer. Taylor fell asleep and Bug was just Bug and lovin' the ride. he was clapping and yelling, He was excited to be moving.

When we got there the sun was setting and the lighting was gorgeous. We let the kids run and be kids, until Bug took me to the car, signaling what he thought was the end of the beach time. But we piled him in the stroller and walked the pier. And we looked and the ocean. And we appreciated what we had. And then we began to work on 15.

Pictures and video to follow.

People

 

Metra Rail Chicago

I am a people person. I watch. I listen. And I project: Trust Me with your deepest darkest secrets. Most importantly: I do not betray that trust.

I rode the train to work when we lived in Chicago. Loved it. I read an amazing amount of books and wrote an amazing amount of ridiculous stories and poems. But, no matter what I was doing, I always found someone wanted to talk. I should say they wanted to be heard. And I heard. I actually listened. I tried to be positive. I even hugged a depressed man who had just found out he was HIV positive and I was the first person he had told. He needed someone that could listen and he picked me. Why?

I wonder about him, and about the man that used to sing me songs on the way to bet on the ponies. I wonder how many people have sit in the seats I sat in and listened to the lonely people. I wonder if stupid girls are still climbing the stairs and sitting on the top wearing short skirts. And now, you are too. But really, those trains taught me that I do project 'trust me'. Not a bad thing. I am more than OK with that, I can work with it. So I ask: Could you? Could you be the person to listen and console? Could you hug a stranger?

Let me know will ya?

Thanks.

Oh and for the record: Happy DOES NOT mean stupid.

The coolest 3 year old!

I live with the coolest 3 yr old on the planet. Don't bother arguing, I won't listen. So, here's why:

Last night we were watching Mythbusters. They were testing the myth that a man got stuck on a ski lift and he used his denim pants to get down. He removed his jeans, threw one leg over the cable and grabbed both legs, sliding down the cable to safety.

(From Utah, calling bullshit. But a slight discussion did ensue at our house about lubricant and temperature...oddly we talk about those two things a lot.)

They tested the solution with a new Buster. Before they cut to commercial, they showed Buster falling. Taylor said this:

'Oh, I would fall and kill myself.'

Yep, being 3, I assume that as fact. :)

Later, as she was chewing her gum (don't judge me) she was watching Adam and Jamie testing something or other using guNpowder. She heard guMpowder and when that went up...she took her gum out and exclaimed:

'GUMPOWDER! Mommy!'

As if I was attempting to off her by letting her chew gum! After I stopped laughing, I explained the difference. Gum went back in mouth and she watch the rest of the show quietly.

I was actually more amazed that she was watching Mythbusters AND paying attention. Especially after the fit she threw to watch Wow Wow Wubbzy not even 10 minutes before. Discovery should be very pleased with themselves and Adam and Jamie might just have themselves a new helper. In 18 years.

 

 

My take on...

The eternal Operating System debate:

Sigh. For years I have stood in the shadows listening to the latest dreg about the superior operating system du jeur. Really, a true professional doesn't care what is presented to him/her, they learn it, they support it, they make it work. I am not lazy or a snob when it comes to the operating system.

I have supported mixed environments for almost two decades. And by mixed I mean Mac and Windows and HP UNIX and IBM (remember OS/2?) and Novell. Maybe BeOS too. And there is one universal: As a System Administrator you MUST suck it up and support whatever wackiness is presented to you. THIS is how you excel in your job. Most Sys Admins will complain and hem and haw about the Mac if they have supported only Windows and the MAC Admin will hate Windows. And me? I hate them equally. They have their quirks. They all make assumptions about the end user and can be laborious and frustrating. But my job has been to eliminate the crashes and the missteps and help the end user be more productive. I adapt. I am not lazy, I will learn the weaknesses and the strengths of each and build them to work together politely.

I don't have a preference, I don't care. I can build a stable network with anything the financial guy throws at me. I won't make excuses about the system requirements or the licensing. I will tell them what they need and then I will assemble it. Any Sys Admin that has a preference will only be able to last as long as the next CTO. Because, sure as hell, the next CTO will want to 'shake things up' and build the best and the fastest and that probably won't include anything that you have worked on or worse yet, your nemesis. So find that other job, the one with the O/S you really like and make all your excuses as to why it is better. Go ahead. And I will come in and make the system that you hate, work. And I will charge double what you did, because I did what you wouldn't. I dumped the ego involvement and built an enterprise infrastructure that works.

Getting back in the Game

How does one jump back into the technical market? It's not like I have been gone actually, I have been consulting and building products and services. But it feels, well, like I am handicapped because I owned my own business. Successful as it was, I still feel that it may not look that way. I hope I am imagining things and that I find the right people who recognize the skills. Sometimes, that is really all it takes isn't it? Luck. The right place at the right time...you know. Now, I gotta find that place. :)

Great Nephew

I mean Great Nephew as in my Niece just had a baby. And he is pretty great but still...Great Aunt Annette is creeping me the hell right out. Doesn't stop me from wanting to get my hands on that baby though. I just have to be patient. I am not so good at patient. So let's get on with what the women all want to see: The baby.

 

Jared Walker Hansen

May 10, 2008

8 lbs 3 oz 20"

 

Hospital20007.jpg

Six words late.

Ok, so I am late. Been...busy/depressed/enjoying somethings and deciding which drug I should start ingesting. But, I do this for Bill so here goes:

Summarize your life in a six word memoir, with optional photo illustration. Then tag six others.

If I were to seriously do this I would pick these six:

Woman, love, hope, heal, empathy, give

No sentence structure. Sorry.

Now let me 'splain.

Woman: All those wonderful and terrible things that go along with it. Wife, daughter, friend, Mother. Strength to endure and compassion to nurture.

Love: Unconditionally the best movtivator. Love rules all and cures all woes. Some may argue more has been done in the name of religion. But isn't that another type of love? Love of God? Moving on.

Hope: I have dared to hope for myself and for others. It has taught me perseverance and to not be complacent with it. To work to achieve that which you hope for the most. And, I have found that all I have hope for has become mine.

Heal: Accept the tragedies and continue to live your life with grace and dignity. Do not let despair consume you, heal the emotional wounds and the physical scars will bear witness to your triumph.

Empathy: Remember the emotions of others. Do your best to not cause them harm. Feel how it would feel to be there, at that time, and support those who need it. Do not expect it in return. It will build you into a fine human being.

Give: Replace everything you think you need to make you happy with the things that make others happy. It will return to you. Give to receive. It will show the character of a man, in his ability to be selfless. And by He I mean humankind. All men and women.

I am not naive, I am hopeful. I am hopeful that this world is worthy of the lives I give to it. My children will have an unknown impact on an unknown number of men and women. I must prepare them for that. I must give them the tools to live worthy of the legacy of their forefathers.

And to keep off the grass.

 

 

 

I am addicted...

I admit it. I love fast cars. Fast cars with attitude and absolutely no chance of ownership on my part. So, it stands to reason that I am addicted to the BBCA show Top Gear. There I said it. I watch it every time I find it on...in between Sponge Bob and Scooby Doo. If you don't know The Stig than you just need to watch more, or watch at all. Even if you don't get into the specs, the racing, the presenters building amphibian cars and attempting to cross The Channel, it's just a really good laugh. So far, James Blunt is at the top of my list for great interviews and reasonably-priced-car lap.

 

Aston Martin DB9

I admit to fantasizing about a full colonies version...where I get to host. Yep. Host...not just drive the track and get the fastest time in the P.O.S. du jeur, but go for the gusto: Host. The token chick. I can be that. I can completely suck it up and be that to just be in the room with an Aston Martin DB9. In the room! Not behind the wheel, although I sooo want to be behind the wheel. Yeah. Sex on wheels.

Heavy sigh. A v10 kinda sigh. Screw 4 bucks a gallon!