Well...it's ruined.

It's official. I meant to bitch about it two days ago when it became official, but I was just too damn upset. They done went and ruined my fantasy. The bastards. Top Gear IS coming to America. I should be happy right? I should be excited to see them test more American cars that I can go down and bribe someone to test drive...but nope. I ain't. And for good reason.

Adam Carolla.

Now, I think the man is funny sometimes. But all I can see is women on trampolines. Chugging beer, 'Hi do you have Prince Albert in a can?', and stupid, macho stunts. Wait. Top Gear is pretty much all stupid stunts...with fast cars. But no bouncing boobies. I wonder how many half-naked women will be on the show? It's a show about CARS not hooters. I dread watching this with his moronic humor. But I will watch it just to critique it.

Now, they do have two other men (Tanner Foust and Eric Stromer) that will be presenting but, really? Who cares? Adam will most likely ruin it and it won't matter how good everyone else is.

Jay Leno turned it down because he just didn't think anyone could do justice to the original. I disagree. We, Americans, have a rich and colorful (sometimes ridiculous - eh hem the Gremlin) automotive history. Not to mention the whoring done by manufacturers on both sides of the pond. So, it has potential. Especially in L.A. They could have some seriously great celebrity laps, but Adam will ruin it. He will bring his juvenile buddies on the show and they will do videos about their inside jokes, and let's face it.: Not EVERYONE should have their 15 minutes. It will be ripe with potty humor and feel like three guys sitting in a burned out garage in Iowa. No edginess, no stunning videography, no sharp jabs at political icons, just Coors and a short-blocked 350 Chevy in the background. And I just BET that there will be a calendar on the wall...a calendar with scantily clad collagen-kissed bimbos on a Camaro / Corvette. Oh and the lighting will suck.  

Please, let me be wrong. Please oh please let me be wrong. But...I bet I'm not. Sniff.

I am addicted...

I admit it. I love fast cars. Fast cars with attitude and absolutely no chance of ownership on my part. So, it stands to reason that I am addicted to the BBCA show Top Gear. There I said it. I watch it every time I find it on...in between Sponge Bob and Scooby Doo. If you don't know The Stig than you just need to watch more, or watch at all. Even if you don't get into the specs, the racing, the presenters building amphibian cars and attempting to cross The Channel, it's just a really good laugh. So far, James Blunt is at the top of my list for great interviews and reasonably-priced-car lap.

 

Aston Martin DB9

I admit to fantasizing about a full colonies version...where I get to host. Yep. Host...not just drive the track and get the fastest time in the P.O.S. du jeur, but go for the gusto: Host. The token chick. I can be that. I can completely suck it up and be that to just be in the room with an Aston Martin DB9. In the room! Not behind the wheel, although I sooo want to be behind the wheel. Yeah. Sex on wheels.

Heavy sigh. A v10 kinda sigh. Screw 4 bucks a gallon!