Christmas picts..LATER...for now..

Lately, I have heard A LOT, how life is not fair. How one person gets what they want and I don't. I hear Why Why Why? And I have the juvenile...but very real answer:

Because.

No deep insight there is there? It is what it is and we can obsess about why it is that way, and ponder what message is there to be learned, OR, and here's the difficult part: we can just accept it and move forward. I like that. I like accepting that sometimes there are no reasons, and sometimes there are. We look for them, we build the puzzle but sometimes, just sometimes, you lose one of the pieces. It didn't come in the box, or puppy ate it, but either way, it's not there.

Does that mean that puzzle is a waste? That you will never find that piece? Maybe. But once you search for it and give it your all, just realize that you can't find it at the moment and go about your daily business. Because we have all done it, searched and searched and couldn't find something, and then, when we least expect it, there it is. Sitting in plain view as if it was never missing.

And sometimes, we find it in a pile of shit. Graphic. Sorry. But in all the feces, there is something valuable, or that we perceived had value and there it is. Surrounded by crap. And then puzzle is complete.

So, sometimes the answers you are looking for can never be found, and sometimes they are found when we least expect them, and then again it might be in the trash. But if you really care about the outcome, you pick it out, clean it off and use it to your benefit.

LOOKING for answers is one thing, building your life and your happiness around finding them is quite another.

A very VERY wise woman once told me (via my Mother since I was bedridden): God himself could come down and explain why things are the way they are and you STILL wouldn't believe him, You would STILL not like the answer, because you had to suffer. So no matter what the reason is, it will never be good enough. I always wonder if she lived very long after that. She was 30+ years old, had 2 or 3 children and had cancer. I, was 15, and crying about being in the hospital. I didn't CHOOSE what happened to me and I do NOT think I was being punished. I was 15 for heaven's sake. And I did wonder why for a day. ONE day. And then, I looked at the drains in my leg and realized that I was wasting my energy on something that I would NEVER have the answer to. Ultimately it didn't matter HOW I got the infection, did I carry it in, was it the hospital, who was to blame? Who? Eh, who cares. It happened, and I had to move on. Once I focused my energy on getting better, on beating the infection, on getting out of the hospital...and once I had gone through withdrawals from addiction to Demerol (not ingested by me, shots to alleviate pain) I was out of the hospital and on my way to recovery.

I put in 3 days a week in PT. Three LONG, PAINFUL days a week. And had two more surgeries but at the end of 8 months I was running on the Soccer field again. Against the advice of my Doctors, but I was doing it. And I never wondered why I was able to run again. I was grateful I had worked to achieve it and had the support of my family to help me achieve it and I NEVER, NEVER blamed anyone or anything. I took my lesson: Perspective. I took *that* lesson and the ability to put a value on every little thing.  To gage what was important in my life and what wasn't. And I never thought again about fairness. About why it happened to me, because it didn't matter. What mattered more was what I did with it. What manner of a human being it would make me. About how sweet life itself really is, not just what I want and can't have, but that I breathe.