How lovely...

Thank god I have a witness because if I didn't...

Danny and I were killing time waiting for Tay to be done at ballet. There is a Walmart across the street so I thought we would pick up a few things, including birthday presents for the soon to be 5 year old girl.

We wandered the store, picked up a bunch of stuff we sort of need and sort of just thought were cool and go to the check out.

In our cart were several toys for Tay and several for Bug. His toys are mostly pre-school and baby toys because he is in this oral phase at the moment and better chew toys in the baby department. We looked at the Dog toys but they were too squeaky.

So most of the ages said: 0-12 months.

The lady checking us out, oh, let's call her Flo, asked: How are you today?

I had been having a bad day so I said:" Eh, I am just Ok, how are you?"

She said: "Oh that's lovely."

????

If I had known what this next statement would cause..I would have said it earlier.

I turned to Danny and said:

"I think he will like these."

Flo asked how old he was.

I said: "7 but he has Epilepsy and Autism and some other ism's I am sure but he's a fun kid. Likes to spin things."

Flo said:

"How lovely."

????

Actually every few seconds, while I was talking, she would alternate: 'That's lovely', "That sounds nice", "Oh how lovely"...it made NO sense whatsoever.

"Yeah" I said quizzically, "he is getting better."

Flo said: "That's nice."

I said: "Yep, just happy he doesn't play IN his diaper anymore. That was a fun time." That last statement was a test. Flo did NOT disappoint:

"That sounds like fun."

????

Danny said: "Hey Mommy I like to finger paint".

I laughed. Flo, apparently thought it was inappropriate, because she shot Danny a pursed lips look. Maybe she WAS paying attention..through her fog of happiness.

By this time she had finished checking us out and we wished her a good day.

We walked silently away toward the front door. At the SAME TIME I turned to Danny, he turned to me.

I said: "Paxil anyone?"

Danny said: "What the hell was she on? Paxil you think?".

We laughed all the way out of the store. We laughed in front of the store. We laughed in the car. I mused about calling the store manager and recommending some random drug testing. Then we wondered what it would be like to work with her. And we laughed even harder.

Bad day...over.

Until I got home and got a second degree burn on my wrist from Bug's frozen dinner. :(

Still, giggling about Flo.

Ugh...women.

The women I have in my life are few and far between. Why? I don't trust them. TADA, that simple.

With most of the women I have known, everything is a competition, the problem is, they aren't overt about it. They slowly chip away at the object of their self induced competition and strip all the self worth and value from him/her. It's disgusting. They smile and support, all the while, they are bitching about what they previously had openly supported in the other room.

The women I do have in my life, are no nonsense and when they ask people how they are...they listen to the response and don't turn the conversation into what THEY did for the day. It's takes a natural course and everyone is validated. They do not feel threatened by anything I do because I do not compete and they know that. When I help, they know I help because I love them and I want to help. Not because I want anything in return.

I have NO respect for women who defend other women simply because of their sex. I do NOT support women who degrade the people in their life to get what they want, and I have NO respect for a woman who constantly complains about her partner openly and then acts all hurt, betrayed and SURPRISED when she is left alone.

And yes, an article I read today set this off. A few of my friends support this 'celebrity' and so I will not name names, but OMG am I sick of hearing about she was soo wronged. She was mean, self centered and only wanted to come out of the relationship looking like the abused partner. Ugh. She made her choices, she openly verbally abused people time and again, she makes women look like emotional time bombs and intellectual midgets. Maybe a lot of them are...but not the ones I hang with. I am editing THOSE women out.

What is that smell?

Depending on your temperament and how well drugs get blamed and then the blame gets shifted, you might consider Thalidomide a wonder drug or the scourge of Pregnant Europeans and their children in the 50's and 60's. Really, the research goes either way: Yes they knew it was harmful to the unborn or no: they didn't and when they did they pulled it off the market.

It can be given to conspiracy or it can be the catalyst for stricter testing of pharmaceuticals before they are marketed. But, you see, it's failed in both regards.

As a conspiracy: It's back on the market. Thalidomide has it's uses. And it helps wonderfully in those specific instances so: still making money. Safer, and with a bad rep, but still successful in helping people.

As for the poster child for testing: MAJOR fail here. It falls back into the conspiracy arena at this point because, well, they are still releasing products with unknown effects on humans because no one tests on humans and it's impossible to predict how a human being will react. Pigs are close, but humans are too varied.

And that's the rub for the Vaccine - Autism link. Deny what you want, but the truth is: Something stinks in Denmark.

I will not get into the Vaccine - Autism link. People are too emotional about it. I will say: Bug is no longer getting ANY vaccines and Tay is.

From the Huffington Post:

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Chairman, Waterkeeper Alliance; Professor, Pace University

Posted: March 11, 2010 11:25 AM

Central Figure in CDC Vaccine Cover-Up Absconds With $2M

A  central figure behind the Center for Disease Control's (CDC) claims disputing the link between vaccines and autism and other neurological disorders has disappeared after officials discovered massive fraud involving the theft of millions in taxpayer dollars. Danish police are investigating Dr. Poul Thorsen, who has vanished along with almost $2 million that he had supposedly spent on research.

Thorsen was a leading member of a Danish research group that wrote several key studies supporting CDC's claims that the MMR vaccine and mercury-laden vaccines were safe for children. Thorsen's 2003 Danish study reported a 20-fold increase in autism in Denmark after that country banned mercury based preservatives in its vaccines. His study concluded that mercury could therefore not be the culprit behind the autism epidemic.

His study has long been criticized as fraudulent since it failed to disclose that the increase was an artifact of new mandates requiring, for the first time, that autism cases be reported on the national registry. This new law and the opening of a clinic dedicated to autism treatment in Copenhagen accounted for the sudden rise in reported cases rather than, as Thorsen seemed to suggest, the removal of mercury from vaccines. Despite this obvious chicanery, CDC has long touted the study as the principal proof that mercury-laced vaccines are safe for infants and young children. Mainstream media, particularly the New York Times, has reliedon this study as the basis for its public assurances that it is safe to inject young children with mercury -- a potent neurotoxin -- at concentrations hundreds of times over the U.S. safety limits.

Thorsen, who was a psychiatrist and not a research scientist or toxicologist, parlayed that study into a long-term relationship with CDC. He built a research empire called the North Atlantic Epidemiology Alliances (NANEA) that advertised its close association with the CDC autism team, a relationship that had the agency paying Thorsen and his research staff millions of dollars to churn out research papers, many of them assuring the public on the issue of vaccine safety.

The discovery of Thorsen's fraud came as the result of an investigation by Aarhus University and CDC which discovered that Thorsen had falsified documents and, in violation of university rules, was accepting salaries from both the Danish university and Emory University in Atlanta -- near CDC headquarters -- where he led research efforts to defend the role of vaccines in causing autism and other brain disorders. Thorsen's center has received $14.6 million from CDC since 2002.

Thorsen's partner Kreesten Madsen recently came under fierce criticism after damning e-mails surfaced showing Madsen in cahoots with CDC officials intent on fraudulently cherry picking facts to prove vaccine safety.

Leading independent scientists have accused CDC of concealing the clear link between the dramatic increases in mercury-laced child vaccinations beginning in 1989 and the epidemic of autism, neurological disorders and other illnesses affecting every generation of American children since. Questions about Thorsens's scientific integrity may finally force CDC to rethink the vaccine protocols since most of the other key pro vaccine studies cited by CDC rely on the findings of Thorsen's research group. These include oft referenced research articles published by the Journal of the American Medical Association, the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the New England Journal of Medicine and others. The validity of all these studies is now in question.

Citations
1. http://www.cphpost.dk/news/international/89-international/48229-researcher-accused-of-cheating-uni-out-of-millions.html 
2.http://www.safeminds.org/news/pressroom/press_releases/20040518_AutismAuthorsNetwork.pdf
3. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/06/opinion/06sat3.html
4. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-f-kennedy-jr/time-for-cdc-to-come-clea_b_16550.html
5. http://www.ageofautism.com/2010/03/poul-thorsens-mutating-resume.html
6. http://www.rescuepost.com/files/thorsen-aarhus.pdf
7. http://www.cphpost.dk/news/international/89-international/48229-researcher-accused-of-cheating-uni-out-of-millions.html

Really

Yes, a blog entry. Oooh. Ahhh.

It seems I write almost everything that goes on in our lives on Bug's Blog or Tay's Blog or this blog or that blog...which is funny coming from someone who was so very ANTI-Blog. Oh well, we all change. 

So, maybe I might just start up this one again. Heaven's knows I don't type enough yet..of course...I wonder how many calories 90 words a minute burns? Hmm?

Ugly

The great McD's cold has run it's course. Tay is better, Bug is better, I am not. This is what happens when my immune system goes on high alert for too long. I wake multiple times a night gagging, yeah it's gross but you try living it. A few more days of this and I will wake up puking. I TOLD the Doctor this was going to happen, I ASKED him to suppress my immune system and get rid of the sinus infection BEFORE I got something to compound it and I was told to go home, take it easty, snort some Afrin (which I had sucessfully weaned myself from after a few years) and do some OTC medications to relieve the symptoms. And now, NOW I am this close to puking multiple times day, I have a cough, sore throat, my ears hurt and I am dizzy. Sounds like fun doesn't it?

So I am going to see my allergist again and give him ONE more chance to help me out. I will be ugly about it. Very. I will make sure I take NO OTC or prescription meds, I will make sure he sees me in all my raging sexiness. IF he doesn't give me an antibiotic and immunosupressant, he will not be my Doctor anymore. Enough is enough. So let the ugly begin, actually, let the ugly stop. I am really pissed.

Does yours do this too?

When I spill a drink, or whatever, or when the children do and I am nearby, I curse, get a towel, clean it up, decide how much effort it requires to look passable and then go back to whatever I was doing. Doesn't matter who is there with me, I just clean it up. OK, I make Tay help if it was HER drink or HER fault.

When Glenn spills a drink, or whatever, or when the children do and he is nearby he curses at ME to HELP him clean it up.

Anyone else own one of these?

Just curious.

Green eggs

I was driving home tonight, having spent a rousing round of 'guess where the book I want is' at the Barnes and Nobel, when I got to thinking (I do that when I am alone). I pondered the things, the really small things, that we take for granted everyday. Not the existential stuff, life and all that. The really simple tangible stuff. Like the fact that I was driving at a rate my Great Grandmother couldn't even fathom. The blackness of night all around me, red tail lights ahead of me, Bon Jovi on the new stereo speakers and the tires spinning at a rate of 21.48 times per second getting me swiftly to my destination. Not that Great Grandma DIDN'T think about traveling at a fast rate, I am sure with a dozen kids running around she certainly would want to expedite delivery to the required destination. It's just, I imagine these things weren't important to think about to her. Why would they be? If she wanted to go anywhere, it was a major event. One just didn't jump in the car and head to the book store. Who gave a crap about speed when she needed to figure out how much food to take?

I also thought how many times I have opened my eyes to the unfairness and injustices of life. How many times I saw the ugliness and yet opted to search for the beauty. How many days I accepted the strain to achieve balance readily. To look at the good things, the simple things, to look beyond the moment. To stretch into that being within us that gives us insight and perspective. To not outweigh the good with our own self-indulgent selves. We shoot down what would take us up, by seeing what had not happened that we wanted to happen. We break our own spirit by deeming as 'bad' what others might be grateful to have.

I recognized that my days are stitched non sequiturs. I wake up, maybe after a good night's sleep, maybe not, to breakfast, a yet to be determined food, and then I check email. The children eat, and the begging to go outside to play begins, these are the constant. The randomness begins AFTER breakfast. Will Bug play with anything inappropriate and create a mess that is gag-worthy? 5% chance of happening so we move onto will Taylor bring home a friend. 25% chance of happening. Bug needs a diaper change 100% and Tay will beg for something sweet and completely unsuitable for the time of day, also 100% but today...here's the really random stuff, the nice neighbor walked Taylor home. She told me she is unexpectedly pregnant. I would be thrilled, but my thoughts are not everyone's thoughts and I can not judge someone on what MY reaction would be. THAT invalidates who they are and what they are feeling. She hasn't decided yet how happy to be, they thought they were done. I get that. I really do. I also believe, perhaps naively, that she will be thrilled eventually. She did the whole trying to conceive thing, all the tests and what not, she understands what it take sometimes. Today, I also learned about the frontal lobes of our brains. The most developed part of our brains, the sets us apart from animals. In most cases anyway. And that led me to the book store. I wanted to learn more about our lobes. 

But, not only did they NOT have the book I wanted, I learned that either no one writes books about epilepsy, or they just don't think that they need to carry any. In fact, the Chemistry and Biology section was one bookcase. Physics and Astronomy: also one bookcase. If you want to learn how to bake cookies or entertain guests you have to peruse 6 bookcases. An entire wall of cook books. Eating is important, but so is Chemistry. Cooking is chemistry. But not as many people want to actually learn what ares of our brains control speech and motor functions, they want to learn how to prevent that green film on a hard boiled egg.

That's what I get for thinking. Green slimy eggs. 

Whew

What a week. Started some new projects:

http://isthisbug.blogspot.com

http://tayisms.blogspot.com

 

And one more but it's not ready for debut, as if Tayisms was..but I did it anyway. I needed a place to put all the info about Bug without depressing my few friends here. This will be about the family time and personal stuff. This is Bug is all about his day to day events, or lack of them. Tayism's - just what it sounds like, she says some really great stuff and I didn't want to forget that.

Bug had another EEG and spent some time in the ER this week. He was sick, not because of his Epilepsy. Details are on his Blog. I will try to update with pictures and about the missed events. Easter, Tay's Birthday, Memorial Day, I'd say Mother's Day but...that wasn't that big of a deal. Although, her class did some things I will post about.

After I sleep for a few days.

 

Kindergarten..is done?

I was a little surprised that the day I thought was the Kindergarten program was also Bug's graduation. Found out when I pulled the invite out of his bag the day before. Must have missed that part. But wasn't going to MISS it. Tay had to go to school and his program started at 1:30, she gets picked up at 2:15. This was gonna be cutting it close but I figured: How long can 5 and 6 year olds possible sing? The answer is: long enough for me to MISS the graduation ceremony because I had to pick up Tay. Seriously, the program was over a half hour.

The top of his head is sooo cute!

Bug did not REALLY participate of course, what with him not being able to talk and all. :) But his phenomenal assistant, Nellie, held him and sang with him, while he spun a car, for half the program. She then filled us in on the practices. (I love this woman, I would adopt her if I could.) Bug had been going to them and doing fairly well. She told us that he made it through the ENTIRE program the day before. She said that he would somewhat participate on a few songs and while he was on my lap, when the kids were singing, he did sound like he was singing along. And he clapped when they clapped and got quiet when they were done.This was a big deal. It was great to see.

 

The hat and Bug's Nellie!

We went back to his class for cookies, Sprite, the video and the graduation. Luckily, Cheryl was with me, because I had to leave to get Tay at this point. Now, Tay's school is 3...that's right 3 minutes away. I was there and back in 8 minutes. Yea, I timed it. And in that time, I missed it. They were done. I was upset but Cheryl assured me she got pictures. Turns out she didn't. The picts I have are blurry at best but at least the video is OK. Doesn't matter. He got his certificate, which is hanging on the board, and a hat! They made him a hat! It IS the cutest thing I have EVER seen on him, for the 3 seconds it was on him :). I can't believe he actually is finishing Kindergarten, Resource Kindergarten but Kindergarten all the same. This means we have 1st grader living in our house!

 

Bug and the hat with Mom

We had his IEP a few days before. Bug is going to a new school next year. 1st Grade will be at Dan Peterson Elementary. We are VERY thrilled about this and I think Bug will do well. At least I pray he does. I still don't think they know what they are in for. With him, or his Mother. Congratulations Bug!

Tay's 4th Birthday!

Taylor asked for a Butterfly Birthday Party. Sounds fun. But everyone that could be there, wanted to be there and her Birthday was on a Tuesday and that meant, no one she wanted there would be there for very long. So we planned a Chuck E. Cheese birthday on the Saturday before her birthday and a small get together on Tuesday. We bought a special birthday dress, shoes and wings. Every 4 year old girl needs wings for her birthday. I think.

Saturday, April 25, 2009 

We invited our Neighbors, The Schmidt's, and their 4 children to attend the Chuck E. Cheese Butterfly Princess Party /*-with us. All together, there was 8 adults and 6 children. Good ratio I say.

We made some Butterfly / Floral arrangements (thanks Grandma Susan for the guidance, she KNOWS what kids will like) and Tay and Cassie wore Butterfly....stuff. The Chuck E. Cheese folks had ALL sorts of available swag. And we got the all sorts of swag. The kids loved it and the big people could just sit back and let the kids love it.

Some may say Tay is spoiled and she is, but why not? As long as we keep things in perspective and reign her in why can't she have her Barbie bike at 4? Because she got one, and she got a Barbie Scooter, thanks to Nana and Papa. And that thing is more popular than the bike (although Bug loves the bike and rides it downstairs). She got a few other things but really, nothing was as important to her as having her friends there to run around with. She was on fire, running and laughing. It was lovely and I will do a Chuck E. Cheese party again in a heartbeat!

Aunt Cheryl made Tay a Butterfly cake and we left a little before 10. We were supposed to leave at 7:30. Oops. But we gave them a good tip and they didn't mind. Go figure.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Her official birthday. Smaller, at home, much shorter time frame. Nana, Papa, Cheryl and Scot came down and again, we invited The Schmidt's over...to help break the Pinata. Yep, Pinata. Turns out, they are professionals at breaking the Pinata. Us? Not so much.  

Tay opened the rest of her presents, we broke the Pinata and she had her Strawberry cake that she had picked out a few weeks earlier. Seriously, she had been planning her birthday for months. MONTHS. It was cute and starting to get mildly annoying, but she was thrilled with how it all worked out and we were thrilled to have a 4 year old girl living in our house. Now, let's hope she makes it to 5 before I sell her.

Happy Birthday 4 year old Girl! 

Sun worship

Maybe I'm the odd man out here, but I really do not like sunny days all that much. Cloudy days with a bit of rain to them, that's more me. When people say: Hooray it's sunny! What a beautiful day! I think:

Great.

I really do prefer clouds, a little snow. It's so much easier to get warm than it is to cool off. Getting warm can involve other people, getting cool screams: stay away you'll make me sweat.

I spent a lot of my early life outside in the sun, playing some kind of sport. I hope my children will want to do that too, it taught me a lot, but the sunburns and then stinkiness of it all, I could really have done without. There is something different about sweating from exertion and sweating because the sun is beating down on you. It's more rewarding when you have earned it, and the cool shower is so much more invigorating.

Yeah, gimme some fog and lightening storms, pepper me with only small doses of sunshine and I might just be a lot more even tempered.